January 31, 2015

The Inner Connection


Have you ever longed for that perfect companion, a trusted adviser, someone to organize your day, give you spiritual guidance, or even a friend that knows you better than you know yourself?  Believe it or not, each of us already has all of that and much more inside of us.  All we need to do is make a firm and intimate connection with our inner self. 

Unfortunately, we have been programmed into disregarding and dismissing this nurturing inner connection.  How many of you were honored for your opinions and intuitions as a child?  How many belonged to a family that spent time out in nature just sitting and listening?  I would venture to say that not many of you were encouraged as children to come up with solutions to your own problems. Instead, depending on the family, rules and regulations were imposed that did not necessarily fit in with your needs.  Even though most parents did the best that they could, there might have been the sense that you were not seen or heard on a daily basis.

As we were not “tuned into” and fully seen or connected to as children, we may not have the skills to do the same within ourselves.  It was just not modeled for us.  In turn, we learned to dismiss our intuition and gut feelings, treat ourselves badly emotionally and physically, act out in any manner of dysfunctional ways, and lead unsatisfying lives that stem from not knowing who we are at our core.  The ancient Greek aphorism, “Know Thyself”, says it all. 

If you are not connected to and listening to the guidance from within, you may tend to defer to the guidance that is external to you.  This may be from an authority figure of any kind, whether it is a boss at work, a religious or spiritual leader, or even a parent, close friend or partner whose opinion you value more than your own.  Even so called authorities are running their own issues and can be wrong! 

One of the byproducts to do with this lack of connection, and one that I see often in my clients, is the emphasis on mental processing versus connecting with the emotional sensing and feeling nature.  It is important to know that the mind tends to loop without getting anything resolved, and is often driven by the needs of the wounded ego self.  The mind was designed to be our tool and not our master, and yet it can really run away with the show.  External information is relied on even more when this happens and then the mind is stuck in comparing and evaluating instead of tuning in and acting on the internal message. 

The biggest benefit to making this internal connection is the acknowledging and healing of the childhood woundedness.  If not healed, these wounds can follow us through a lifetime, creating repetitive emotional distress and physical dysfunction.  Another result is an ego that can run the mind and the life with ongoing “I want ….”, “Why, why, why?”, “Look at me!”, and the need to figure everything out.  Chronic dissatisfaction with self also predominates.  The mind is no substitute for the inner connection. 

The best tool that I know of to create and maintain this connection is inner child work.  There are many forms out there, but I always say that simpler is better.  In my book “Traversing the Infinite Now”, I give a very easy and effective method for connecting to and healing the wounds of the inner child.  Once this is accomplished, this part of each of us can be a tremendous source of support, companionship and guidance.  It’s all we really need.  Of course, no man is an island, and the people, places and things of the outer world are important, too, but they are not a substitute for the inner connection. 

I have seen many clients stall in their healing work with me once we get to the point where they need to be developing more of this inner connection.  Some actively resist it, and some can get quite angry.  I suspect this is the case on the client’s part when the inner woundedness is approached but not embraced or worked with.  Some people just can’t face that and revert back into the terrible twos instead!  Fortunately, very few of my people are in that situation. 

Take time out every day and connect internally.  Use the emotions of gratitude and appreciation for yourself.  Care for yourself in the best way that you can.  And LISTEN to the still small voice within.  You are all fabulous beings on earth!  

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