June 10, 2013

Defending


It can be tricky for some to know when a personal issue has surfaced for them to work through. The average person is so used to acting out when an issue gets triggered, that they aren’t even aware that something is amiss.  For those on an evolutionary path, I like to think that when emotions overwhelm them, they realize that there is work to be done with whatever the issue is that has just come up.  That isn’t always the case, and people get carried away with the drama at hand before they know it.  Sometimes they feel justified in acting out even though they know better.  Do you remember the scene from “Moonstruck” where Cher slaps Nicolas Cage across the face and says “Snap out of it!”?  I often think that more people should do that to themselves! 

When one’s emotions get out of balance, that is a clear signal.  One that is not so clear and that I have encountered several times in others lately is what I call defending.  In several cases, others have strongly defended their position verbally and energetically, and in a way that I would say bordered on bullying.  It was over the top behavior, often defending a position that was not based on anything that made sense.  I am being very general here, but you get the idea. 

Remember that we live in a world of polarity and our goal is to find the middle ground with all areas of our lives.  Defending is definitely not a middle ground stance.  Whenever one strongly empowers one end of an issue, they are polarized in that issue.  The other end, usually the hidden or subconscious one, gets equally as empowered at the same time.  This is classic shadow work. 

So if one is really defending their position, what is the hidden energy of the opposite end?  Some possibilities are a sense of disenfranchisement or abandonment, low self esteem, embarrassment at being caught in a lie or untruth, or fear of being found to be inadequate or insignificant.  Perhaps one is defending an issue out of wishful thinking that it really was true.  They feel that the more energy that they put into the defending, the greater the likelihood that what they are defending will come to pass, not realizing that they are empowering the opposite at the same time.

An interesting phenomenon occurs when someone strongly defends an issue to another person.  The other person can be quickly thrown into the opposite polarity of the first person’s issue, mirroring the shadow of the issue at hand.  Depending on the people involved, things can get out of hand very fast.  By holding your center, or even not engaging, this can be avoided.

There is a difference between defending and standing up for one’s truth.  If you know and embody your truth, defending is not necessary.  It doesn’t need to be anyone else’s truth, either.   Your truth is not set in stone and can change as time goes on.  We are all works in progress, especially now during these times of change. 

If one looks at themselves with a clear eye, the truth will out eventually.  I tell my students to be brutally honest with themselves and leave no stone unturned. Vulnerability and openness will be far more helpful to their evolutionary process than hiding, denying and defending. (And by the way, I am not immune to these behaviors, either, as I am also a work in progress.)

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