Tomorrow starts the Quantum Sphere Healing training here in Cortez, so there will be no posts for a couple of days. Needless to say, with everything else going on, I am a bit stressed out. Not bad, as this is the 5th time I will be teaching the course, and could do it in my sleep! The only thing left to do is review my notes tonight.
I look at stress as an internal conflict that may or may not be triggered by external events. One part of you wants to do one thing while another and often wiser part knows what is best for you and is pushing you in another direction. The challenge is to resolve the conflict in a harmonious and healthy way.
A few days ago I sat down to do a QSH session on myself to get to the bottom of the stress pattern. To preface what I discovered, I would describe my childhood and up until the time I left home for good as stressed and repressed. I was somewhat high strung as a child, and being the first born, had a lot of the perfectionist/performance anxiety behavior that comes with that position in the family. It hasn’t been until I got divorced a while back that I have been able to follow my own path and not have to accommodate and compromise with another person so much.
Anyway, during the QSH session I was led back to my first year of life. Apparently, I was walking, talking in full sentences and potty trained by the age of one. Imagine the pressure that was put to bear on my young self from my mother to get me to that unnatural state at that age. Her attempts to turn me into something that I was not continued until the day she died. Thus the patterns of stress were created very early on. In other words, stress was created as a result of the conflict between what my sensitive intuitive self needed for nurturing support versus the needs of my mother to have me be someone else.
So, I cleared those patterns as far as I could a few days ago and made a promise to myself to listen and follow my guidance as far as how busy I would like to be right now. I do have some vacation time coming up and am looking forward to getting away from it all!
I’m also looking forward to teaching a marvelous group of students the next 3 days. I will have more to report next week.