Over a week ago I had a major falling out with someone who was a friend, student and client. Not only are we no longer associated, but Sue (not her real name), has let me know that she has totally given up the spiritual practices that she developed as a result of taking my classes and attending sacred activities that I have offered to the community at large.
Especially shocking to me was the fact that she dismantled her mesa, which is the shaman’s altar or bundle of sacred medicine stones that had served her so well over the past several years. The mesa is created through many hours of processing and healing of personal issues, transforming them into aspects of empowerment, and is the shamanic gateway to the transpersonal self. For one to give that up is a drastic step indeed. The first thought that came to mind was what does this have to do with me as her teacher? In actuality, nothing, as the shaman mentor has no ownership over anything in the student’s mesa. Unfortunately, Sue attached me as a teacher to the spiritual and shamanic work, and threw the baby out with the bath water, so to speak.
I have no desire to rehash all of the issues involved, as they go back to the very day when we first met in 2004. I would like to however address the matter of karma and contracts between individuals. I do believe that if a strong attraction or connection is experienced by 2 people upon meeting, that there is also strong or heavy karma to be resolved. With heavy karma, there are always contracts in place.
Several years after I had met Sue, I realized that I had been “hooked” into a friendship with her. Of course, our meeting was no coincidence, as this connection was destined to happen to resolve old issues. What followed, especially after she moved to my area, were repeated requests to visit her property and house, have lunch, walk and snow shoe on her land, go hiking in the area, etc. I did this just a few times before realizing that we were not that compatible, and I did not really enjoy her company all that much. Several years ago, when I become clear about the hook, I promptly removed it.
We did continue a more professional relationship, with her participating in my shamanic and spiritual trainings and events, and with me supporting her artistic endeavors. This is where things continued to get sticky as I took on more of a mentoring role. I am sure that this is where the contract for me to do so came in, but not in the way one would think. Much effort on my part was expended on Sue to help her evolve and grow in spite of her resistance to change and an ongoing inability to grasp many new concepts. The more I pushed, the more she resisted, until we came to an impasse last week.
I don’t miss much, but I missed this one big time, mainly because Sue put in a decent effort with the work and kept coming back for more until she had had enough. I believe that our contract was not for me to mentor her, but for me to push her into coming into her own power within the friendship. Whether this has happened for her now, I cannot say for sure because of the disconnect.
So this is where I can do my releasing, albeit a bit too late. Anyone can do this in a general way by intending to “release all karma, contracts and agreements” with someone you are connected to, especially if there are ongoing difficulties. This can be an intent done every day, or you can be more specific if you are aware of the exact karma or contract. Karma is generated from an imbalance carried over from a past life. This is shadow work, and can be hard to get to if that is not your particular skill. Contracts are set up with the other before you are born, and are for the learning and experience of both of you. There is a plan for all that is formulated before birth, and Sue’s soul and mine made sure that these events would eventually manifest to fulfill upon that plan. For more information on how to recognize and release contracts, please refer to my book "Traversing the Infinite Now".
A friendship is lost, but big lessons learned. When the dust settled, I actually found it quite exciting to be clear enough about what had happened to take advantage of the growth opportunity presented. I had been experiencing a similar dynamic with my dance teacher. The difference is that my eyes are wide open to the “hook ‘em and reel ‘em in” energetic patterns going on with her. I have cleared the karma and contracts and can continue with the classes if I wish without the distorted entanglements that had been taking place. It is interesting that since I woke up to what had been happening, the interest in the ballroom dancing has waned very much. That is the normal outcome when the karma has been cleared!