All empaths are highly sensitive, but not all highly
sensitive people are empathic. This is a
topic that came up during the Quantum Sphere Healing class that I taught in Los
Alamos a few weeks ago. According to
Elaine Aron, author of “The Highly Sensitive Person”, about 15 to 20% of people
fall into the highly sensitive category. If you would
like to find out if you are highly sensitive, you can take an on line quiz at http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm. If you do fall into this category, it would
be worth your while to get her book.
I didn’t realize that I was highly sensitive until I ran
across this information shortly before I got divorced in 2000. I was so relieved to find out why life had
been such a struggle for me. It seemed
like I was constantly fighting to keep my head above water emotionally and energetically. Looking back, I would
describe my childhood as being very stressful and repressed. There was always lots of drama in the house hold between my parents. My mother was also determined to mold me into her idea of the ideal child, so the pressure was always on in that regard.
A highly sensitive person is much more tuned in to their
surroundings than a non sensitive would be.
This includes seeing more details, noticing nuances of events, feeling
emotional currents, observing people’s reactions or even appreciating the finer
points of art and music. I find that
this is why I am good at bird watching and botany. I also pick up much more information on a
client during a healing session than most other healers would.
The down side is that we trend to get over stimulated and
overwhelmed by externals such as loud music, crowds, emotional drama, and
group events such as parties or meetings.
It wasn’t until I was a single adult that I learned to give myself
permission to skip events that I knew would be too much for me, or, if I did
go, I would quite often leave early. This was not
something that was possible in childhood or while attending an activity with my
husband.
I have worked with several clients in my practice who consider themselves to be empathic. This seems
to be an inherited trait. Empathic
individuals are always highly sensitive, as they notice and feel almost everything
that is happening around them. The big
difference is that instead of just noticing what is going on, they also take in
or “taste” the energy of the person or situation. Unfortunately, at least for the people I have
worked with, they are then stuck with the energy that they have merged with. If that energy feels bad, heavy or scary, the
empath reacts by blaming the other, projecting and pointing the finger. The “other” is labeled as dark, destructive
or harmful to the empath. The end result can be big issues around socialization and intimate relationships. Their health can suffer, and many start to live a hermit like life style as a way of protecting themselves.
If anything, the highly sensitive person
tends to fall into self blame when life doesn’t go well because of the reaction
to over stimulation. They can also force themselves into situations that do not support their sensitivities because of job, social, family and relationship pressures.
The tendency for the empath to ingest energy to know it never
goes away. The key is for that person to
firm up their boundaries, stay grounded so that they can dump any energy that
they have taken in that is not theirs, and know themselves well enough to be
able to tell what is theirs and what is the other’s. Being proactive about the energies that they engage with is helpful, too.
In both cases of the empath and the highly sensitive, knowing
themselves intimately is the key. For
the highly sensitive, know your limits and have enough inner self support to stick with
a plan that is the best for your sensitive nature. For the empaths, know that you have a tendency to
merge with the energy of another and know yourself well enough to be able to determine
what energy is yours and what is theirs.
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