This post has been prompted in part by e-mail conversations I have had with 2 of my friends. The first one, Carol Ann from Scotland, reminded me last year of a saying that has served her well in her new volunteer job. When confronted with the desire to jump in or manage something for someone else, she asks herself “Can I, May I, Should I?” What a good rule of thumb to use in a wide variety of circumstances, and in fact, I have added this teaching in my Quantum Sphere Healing workshops.
First of all, let me explain the concept. “Can I” asks if you have the skill or ability to do what you are planning. Do you have the proper training and experience? If someone is asking you to do a task that you are not capable of doing, you really should not proceed at this point. It would be like asking a truck driver to do brain surgery. Not a good idea! “May I” asks if you have permission to do what you are planning. This permission might be from another person or your higher guidance if you are doing something on your own that would not affect someone else. “Should I” asks you to determine if the timing and circumstances are right for your endeavor. You would not get up in the middle of the night to mow the lawn for example.
With my healership trainees, for example, these questions are important ones to ask, especially when one is just starting out with their healing practice. In the beginning when they are practicing on volunteer clients, the “Can I” can be a moot point, since they are not quite good at anything yet. They are gaining expertise and I encourage them to tackle just about anything that comes their way. For an experienced practitioner, it might be wise to turn down a request from a client if it involves something that they do not do. Not every practitioner knows how to work with haunted houses or attached earth bound spirits for example.
This leads me to the very important “May I”. I only work with clients directly by their permission using remote or in person healing. I do not work on a person via the request of a third party. I know that there are healers out there who check in with the potential clients Higher Self to gain permission to do the work without their knowledge, but that is not my style for a variety of reasons. Getting permission also involves not scanning or checking on the energetics of a person without their knowing what you are doing. I always tell my students that if they see it, they are changing it. In other words, by looking at another person's energetic patterning, you are changing those patterns through the energetic connection of the viewing. That is why people who have a certain amount of awareness and psychic vision need to walk around with blinders on so that they do not inadvertently change the patterning of another person without getting their permission first.
Asking “Should I” can require a certain amount of finesse. Is the timing right? Are the circumstances right? Is this the right time to open your mouth? These are questions for our inner guidance and intuition. The ego sometimes wants to rush in and “do, do, do”, “help, help, help” or “talk, talk, talk” without regard to the timing or circumstances, let alone getting permission. I will get messages during a QSH session that no more work should be done in that session, or to leave something alone as the client needs to deal with it themselves instead. It pays to listen to those messages! There is a lot of grace in backing up, observing and then making a move if guided to do so, or not!
My friend Sharon in California asked a very good question about the previous post entitled “Another Stargate”. I had mentioned that part of the manifestation process at the level of the energetic templates involves getting permission for creating something from those templates. Sharon e-mailed me and asked about where and from whom do we get that permission. Great question! When one reaches that level of expansion and evolution, there is such a deep inner knowingness about what is proper to do, that ultimately, the permission is granted from the greater Self that knows the bigger plan that is in motion.
In the mean time, when dealing with the life that we are enmeshed in now, having the skill, getting permission, and going with the flow of the right timing are really good practices to keep in mind when approaching any task. Look at the bigger picture, or as the Peruvian shamans teach, go to Condor state. Fly high, observe, and chose your battles carefully to minimize damage and maximize success.